The Journey (3)

It was now a matter of confusion. Or rather a matter of insecurity. Almost everybody Dalilah knew settled down after a serious relationship. At least most of them. She didn’t understand what it was so difficult to have a commitment with Maarten. She wanted it, but Maarten seemed to hesitate a lot, especially earlier in their relationship. She didn’t dare to ask nor to mention the word. She was afraid that might drove Maarten away. Far away. Maarten reminded Dalilah over and over about his failures in the past and that gave her the impression that he might not want to settle down for good.

Maarten had had so many relationships in the past. Few were serious but mostly one-night stands. Maarten only targeted women from the same nationality – Malaysians.  He found them sexy and alluring. Their tiny body attracted him so much. Maarten’s too many unsteady relationships gave Dalilah the ugliest impression about himself. Nevertheless, she still wanted to continue being with him. Perhaps the fact that she desperately wanted to be loved so much by a man, the slightest attention from Maarten brought her to another world. Despite the fact Maarten wasn’t really the best man for her, Dalilah thought she could settled for second best. Dalilah didn’t want to spend the rest of her life alone.

Living the life in Asia, Maarten had had it all. He had the idea that Asian women were easier to maintain – on monetary wise, that is. He strongly believed that Asian women were so easy to please and very obedient. He saw how easy it was for him to get free love. Especially being a white man – it was rather convenient to him, as he thought.

Dalilah, on the other hand, who was brought up in such a religious background, didn’t believe in getting or receiving free love. She was constantly haunted and muddled by Maarten’s mixed behaviour. Nonetheless, surprisingly Dalilah got so many positive reactions from her friends and her children that made her wanted to stay with Maarten. His charms wooed her many times over, especially when her children were so fond of him and kept telling Dalilah that ‘he’ is the ‘one’.

At a certain point in their relationship, Maarten decided to seal their rocky turmoil journey by asking Dalilah’s hand in marriage. Shocked, yet excited she immediately replied – ‘yes’. Maarten took Dalilah to choose an engagement ring to tie her down.

Wedding rings

Wedding rings

Maarten’s working contract was ending. It was time for him to return to his homeland. Maarten reassured Dalilah and told her he would not abandon her and wanted to bring Dalilah with him. Dalilah felt relief. Maarten gave her a lot of promises, including securing her children’s future. Dalilah decided to make a farewell gathering to say goodbye to her family and friends as an indication that she will start a new life together with Maarten. During the gathering, many of her closest friends including a priest,  gave a lot of intriguing hints asking Dalilah to get married before leaving the country. They didn’t want Dalilah to end up living with Maarten without any marital ties. They were all afraid for that to happen – since there were so many similar cases happening all around the globe right now. Dalilah understood completely – and being a religious woman, she totally agreed with them.

Dalilah told Maarten want she wanted. Astonishingly, Maarten told her that the Dutch government didn’t allow foreign marriages and it was considered illegal. He strongly opposed. Dalilah felt rather cornered. Dalilah argued and at the end Maarten agreed only for religious purpose – without having to register at the local authority in Malaysia. Dalilah felt more desperated and pressured. Finally, they performed a simple religious traditional wedding ceremony before Maarten’s departure.


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